I've no good excuse for my absence...so I'm just going to try to dive right in. I tried to jot down a few notes so I could make certain that I filled you all in on the juicy tidbits that have been my life for the last few weeks...I'm sure I'll forget something. I'll try to even put everything in chronological order! Just. For. You. (Because I'm awesome. ^.^)
I've never been that drunk...
A few weekends ago, I went to a "party" at my brother's house. Party=gathering of drunken people.
(Small back story: I'm a very responsible drinker, generally. I tend to stop myself when my eyes start to lose focus...I just don't like the way it feels...and I'm usually long sober before the end of the night.)
Now...this is my first party since I've been single. I intended to get trashed (as I usually say I will, but don't) and have a good time. I usually drink tequila...it's my poison of choice...I can drink most men under the table on that shit. Girly drinks tend to kick my ass. This time, I settled for Smirnoff. "Chick beer" as Tina called it. To start out the night, however, my sister-in-law mixed up this green monster drink that always sneaks up on me. Rum being the main ingredient...Remember what I said about girly drinks? That went out the window.
We sat around by the fire for a bit (I had long enough to finish my girly drink) and all the guys wanted to play beer pong. I let them have beer pong, I played quarters with some Patron that we found in the cabinet from last year. Haha! My cousin had left it sitting outside with the lid off, and there were sticks and leaves in it...but we figured at this point that they were sanitized. Somehow (possibly because I dominated) I managed to get out of that game with only two shots of tequila...I'm thinking I should have shot it when I made it instead of picking someone else to. Not fair.
Cuz got a little rowdy at one point and knocked down a string of peppers hanging across the kitchen. One landed in the shot glass...upping the ante...we left it. That last shot....no one made it in for about 15 minutes...thus giving the pepper plenty of time to soak. Haha! I bet that was a spicy shot! Let's ask Day! I made him shoot it. ^.^
Eventually we all made it back out to the fire, got some music going, the alcohol was flowing, and I was getting toasty. (Never you mind that my toes were FROZEN.) Rum...is my Waterloo...I never noticed how drunk I was until I was allowing a boy to put his tongue in my ear... (EW!) and was doing nothing to stop it other than leaning away from him.
Followed by: asking a 17 year old how big his penis is (and explaining why I needed to know! {I did not know how old he was when I asked the question, FYI}), inhaling all the young boys because they were wearing sexah cologne, busting my ass when Day tried to help me kick my brother in the knee, busting my lip when Day elbowed my beer bottle (by accident?), grabbing Day's crotch when I tripped over his feet trying to get away from my brother (total accident!), thankfully keeping my mind (and declining) when I was asked if I "wanted to go" with tongue-in-ear boy (while his girlfriend was passed out inside on the couch), then having him cry on my shoulder about how he loves his girlfriend (but doesn't know how much), and almost ripping my panties off when he used the word "inept"...correctly...as trashed as he was. (SO HOT!)
At this point...it was nearly 5AM...I had stopped drinking (because I ran out of rum) and thought I was okay to drive home because I'd rather be laying in a ditch somewhere than deal with the drama that was about to go down between tongue-in-ear and the girlfriend....(I know...I'm so responsible.)
I woke up to the first hangover of my life...and made a vow (along with the rest of the attendees, from what I've heard) to never drink that much again. I thought I was going to die.
Stay tuned!
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