P.S.

Around these parts (i.e. in my social circle) "cupcake" has become a euphamism...for oral sex. (We are just classy like that.)

A "new" guy in our circle sat in my lap this weekend and complimented me on my excellent cupcakes. I informed him that he had no idea how excellent my cupcakes were...and he informs me that he's looking right at them and they are awesome, (as he's looking down my shirt).

So... now..."cupcakes" is a euphamism for boobs...and is, apparently, my new nickname as this kid called me "Cupcakes" the remainder of the weekend.

By the way...my cupcakes are fabulous.

All of them.

Love and Cupcakes! ;)

Out of reach.

Why do I find myself attracted to people I can't have? I almost feel like it goes back to childhood...you know, that kid has an awesome toy, and you want it...but I'm not sure.

There's someone I'm so incredibly attracted to...more than just sexually. He's smart, funny, and talented. Don't get me wrong...there is sexual chemistry like "whoa". At the same time, though, we are so comfortable together. It's not awkward or strained. We can flirt, bicker, have intelligent conversations, or just sit in silence. We "mesh".

He has a girlfriend... I don't want to take him away from her. Seriously. I don't want him to leave her for me. I just can't stop thinking about him for days after I see him, and I fear I give myself away because I talk about him a lot.

I really like him...and I kinda hate it because I'm going to be that girl that sits back and does nothing about it. For all my laughing and joking...I'm not going to be a "homewrecker".

I just wish I wasn't so attracted to him.

Ugh...

Look here, Ladybug!

There are ladybugs taking over my room. I don't know what it is about this cold weather, but they will not go away! Hrmph. Granted...they aren't really ladybugs...just those orange-colored, polka-spotted bugs...Chinese something something beetles...or something...All the same...they are annoying me.

I've been having some relatively quiet weekends lately...which I suppose is the reason I haven't been around. Been soaking up books like they are going out of style. Love love love my Kindle app on my phone. Makes those slow days, when I'm filling in at other branches, not seem so bad.

I've slowly gotten back in touch with someone I had kind of "written off"...Things are still playful, but I'm more confident this time around. And I'm happy to have them, somewhat, back in my life. I'm hoping I'll get to see them soon and have a long over-due visit.

I did something I swore I wouldn't do...swore to myself and others. I'm participating in an art project. I'm kind of excited about it even though I was so scared I thought I might throw-up at first.  Because of the sensitive nature of this project, and the people that I know are reading this or have easy access to read it, should they choose, I'm probably not going to say much more about it...at least not yet. Baby steps, folks...remember. I'm still learning to live by my mantra, "Love life. Be brave."

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. This is the first time in 8 years that I've been single for this holiday. I think I'm okay with it. It's been years since I've gotten flowers or anything else to celebrate this holiday, anyway. Hell...last year, I got a snowball to the face.  I haven't thought about it much, but we'll see how it goes, I s'pose. I'm not going to play the broken-hearted girl. I'm happy. <3

I'm taking a short breather on cleaning up this rat's nest that is my room. I live in a small (maybe 10' x 12') room that I kind of share with my nephew's toys...and it takes no time for it to look like a nuclear disaster area...It's no secret that I'm not a very good housekeeper, anyhow...but it's gotten a bit ridiculous.

While I've been cleaning, I found my 30 Days of Truth list. So...this week, while I have the house to myself, I'm going to attempt to finish those (finally).

I guess I should cut this off because it's all over the place anyway...and there's more cleaning to be done!

Cupcakes & Ladybugs!