Letters are easier

...

I've been writting letters a lot lately. They are quicker, to the point (and usually the cowards way out...).  I can write, in letters, what I don't have to balls to say to someone's face...and most of the time I know they read them. I'm usually quite passive agressive in my letters...of course, as we all know, I'm the queen of passive agressive. *insert eyeroll here*

I generally have no problem being inappropriate, either. It's my shit...if it bothers you, don't read it. It's that simple. However...some people choose to read and be offended, or get pissy...or hate me (rightfully so, in some cases)...and they continue to read it. Come on! Get a grip! Ignorance is bliss...or some shit like that.

This time, however, I can't bring myself to write the letters I want to write. I want to say something that puts everything into perspective, and makes all the answers clear and obvious...but I realize, from experience, that you can only help those that want to be helped. Until they make up their minds to do what needs to be done, for themselves and their well-being, they aren't going to do it. It is what it is, and that's all it is.

I still find myself a little heartbroken for you, though. I know how you feel. Some people have no problems being the asshole. Some people just can't do it and, instead, continue to be miserable...even though it's slowly killing them.

Sometimes, I think distance is the best thing. Distance and time...usually they will straighten a skewed perspective. If someone asks for space, and you love them as you say you do, the least you can do is give it to them. It's instinct, perhaps from childhood, that when we think something is going to be taken away from us, we cling to it even harder...never stopping to think of what the consequence might be.

It saddens me when I notice the difference in behavior...depending who is or is not around. I wonder if anyone ever saw that change in me. I was conscious of it, but I wonder how well I put on around others... Apparently, pretty good, judging by the shock on people's faces when they find out.

I dunno...today is a weird day, and I'm in a weird place...

This is why you shouldn't kiss me like that...

Cupcakes would probably make me feel better.